The last few days have been interesting. I believe I especially am being tested as to why we might want to add one child to our more than full plate. I am struggling with the daily challenge of Owen’s four year old behavior. We know that the surgery next week to remove his adenoids and tonsils should eventually cause him to sleep much more soundly. His sleeping has been so compromised and of course that is part of his defiant behavior. It is hard to remember that his daily challenges are so minor in the scheme of life. I have been praying the last few days for patience, quiet responses to my children when I am frustrated and answers when it comes to how to effectively reach them during their wild times. In the midst of it all, I have found myself wanting to apologize for evening considering adoption at this point. Of course that is as self defeating as ice cream on a PMS day but with the stress I have felt doubt. Here is what I am working hard to remember when the doubts creep in. I am not in control of my world. I make choices yes but I need to continue to let God take the helm. We are praying for a safe surgery for Owen, for noticeable change in his behavior and a refreshed attitude about the little girl who awaits.