Having doubts

What a weekend of adoption chatter. It was so great to again dig into the nitty gritty with Bob about why we are doing this. First of all we do not talk about this journey without admitting to one another that we are terrified of the unknown. Who isn’t? After all life is filled with unknowns and it makes us all uncomfortable at times. Both Bob and myself have the moments of looking around in sheer panic as to how we are going to stay patient and capable with one more little person in our midst. We are already just a wee bit busy, active, tapped, tested, etc.  The best answer we can give ourselves and others is this. We are more terrified to not see this adoption process through. It may sound silly or strange but we know that we have been lead as a couple and a family to adopt. What started out as a need to have a girl in my world has morphed into so very much more. It is now a calling and a longing to do what God knows we should do. It is a longing to grow our family with a child that would have no love or opportunity if left behind. With great gifts comes tremendous responsibility and we feel very grateful that our hearts are open to the plight of the orphan. There will be bumps and doubts but we ready. Funny thing… it seems that the boys are ready too. Hayden so deeply wants to go to Nepal to see where his sister will be coming from. This weekend he asked Bob if the three passports on the table were mine, Bob’s and his. Bob chuckled and Hayden grinned from ear to ear.

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